Grace & Space

During these difficult times, as we are living in yet another lockdown here in Ontario. It is extremely important to allow ourselves grace & space. The reality is, we have had many of our freedoms taken from us. We can no longer simply leave our house and visit who we want or freely visit places we may have once frequented.

Some of the things we have lost may have been the things that once helped us cope through difficult times.

Maybe you frequented a gym as a way to get some "me time", and clear your head. Now that has been taken away and you are forced to create this space in your home in an effort to find some peace.

Maybe you have young children in your home, or you are caring for a loved one which doesn't allow you much personal space in order to make that "me time" happen.

My personal experience over the past year has been difficult. I have been filled with a wide range of emotions, triggered by what is happening around me all the while trying to hold a space for others. As a person with a history of trauma, this pandemic has been triggering for me.

One evening, while talking my daughter out of some big feelings I heard myself say "give yourself and others grace and space right now". After hearing myself say those words it got me thinking. Everyone is managing this in the best way that they know how...even me. Up to that point I was really pressuring myself to show up for the world in the way I always try to.. that person who helps people who are in need. Whenever I see pain and suffering in others this voice comes to me "find a way to serve and help them". Helping others brings me joy.

I realized after this conversation with my daughter that I wasn't giving myself grace and space. At this particular point I was struggling to show up for others. Feeling like, if I cannot hold it together myself how am I supposed to help others. I have to be the band member on the lower deck of the titanic as the ship is sinking, just continuing to play the violin and remain calm. Meanwhile, in my head I struggle to make sense of it all and show up as a wife, mother, daughter, spiritual teacher...etc.

I want to be real and show up exactly as I am. To give myself the grace and space that I need to cope through these times. I wanted to show up on a schedule for everyone in spite of what was happening, but that comes at a cost. I have lived my life with the "power through" mentality. Just push through it, make it happen, do what you have to do to show up for others. Where has this gotten me? Likely not any further than if I had shown up for others on my own terms.

So the lesson here that I am sharing with you is that we need to give ourselves GRACE to show up as we are, doing the best we know how to in this moment. As well as the SPACE to allow ourselves to unravel in these times which have presented themselves to us.

We are perfectly imperfect humans, living in some pretty difficult times. As parents we have the pressure of trying to balance our household while our children fall apart because they can no longer do the things that once brought them so much joy. We can no longer connect with friends and family who bring us joy. We thrive on human connection. As spouses, we try to hold it together for our other half, as grandparents not able to connect as freely with our children and grandchildren when it's something we so deeply desire. Everyone has pain right now, everyone has lost in some way. We absolutely have so much to be grateful for but we cannot discount the fact that we have pain, we feel sadness and frustration. This is our reality and we do not know when it will end. We must give ourselves and others grace and space.

I vow to continue to show up for this community in a way that honours and respects me to my core. I will show up and present offerings when it feels right to me, not on a set schedule that I feel is expected of me.

I hope you are able to give yourself the grace and space that you need, and also that others need you to have for them. If a friend or family member isn't showing up for you the way you feel they should or if they are responding to a situation in an unfamiliar way, be sure to take a moment to invite in that grace and space. It may be exactly what you both need. We need to allow everyone to process these times in their own way and in their own time.

These are uncharted waters for all of us. I have been so fortunate to have the tools to help me through these difficult times. Yoga, mindfulness, journalling nature walks and many other tools that I have learned on my journey have helped me find some light on the dark days. I will continue to create content to help others learn these tools. I will help to make these tools accessible to all. Together, we will get through these times, take space when you need to and honour the calls of your inner wisdom. If you are tired find a way to rest, if you need human connection, pick up the phone. If you need space, give yourself space. Let's vow to be true to ourselves and show up in our most authentic way. By showing others we accept ourselves as we are, we allow people to show up just as they are. We become the light to help others find their way.

I truly believe I am living my souls purpose doing the work I do. I love it and am extremely passionate about it. It brings me great joy. I will allow myself to have downtime to refill my cup so that I can continue to show up as the most authentic version of myself, and so that I can continue to love and be passionate about my work.

Remember to give yourself and others Grace and Space. Together we will get through this.

Peace and Love to you all!

Leigh Ann

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